Life after death

 Do our loved ones who have passed prefer us sad or happy?

Unfortunately, there have been lots of deaths in the last year, due to the COVID pandemic. Many people have lost their loved ones and they are obviously shattered. It is a well known fact, that some families have lost more than one person.

Clearly, in our western culture is normal to get sad when someone dies, and it would be not only unacceptable, but baleful to feel joy and happiness in those cases. However, is this a cultural behaviour or is it part of our human essence? Is our sadness for death a learnt behaviour or an inborn one?

There are some eastern cultures where death is not bad; in fact, they celebrate it and feel happy when someone close die. Can you imagine to be in a party for someone death? Not tears or sad faces, but smiles, jokes, dance and happiness instead.

Obviously, everything depends on what do you think will happen after death. If you think that people will vanish and they will no longer exist, it is normal that you will feel devastated. Otherwise, people who think deads are in a much better place, with no suffering, surrounded by peace, joy and fulfilment, have enough reasons to celebrate.

In some cultures, being sad for more than some few days after someone dies is considered selfish, because it would mean that you would be focusing only in your own suffering, overlooking the new happy life of your loved one.

This is a very interesting outlook, if you put yourself in the dead's place. Let's say that you are the dead one and, even you don't have your body anymore, by using your consciousness you are fully aware of everything happening with your loved ones.

Let's say also, that you are indeed in a better place and you feel more happiness than ever before. Now, you are truly happy and you feel as good as you had never felt before.

However, you realize that your loved ones are devastated, they are suffering and feeling a lot of pain because of you. Wouldn't you want to tell them: Hey! Please don't suffer because of me! I am fine, I feel good, with no pain any more! I want you to be happy for me! I don't want you to be miserable and much less because of me!

I bet you would strongly desire one last chance to communicate with them in order to tell them that, but now you can't. Wouldn't you feel the largest frustration?

Think about it! There are only two possibilities:

1. There is no life after death and therefore, your loved one will no longer feel anything else beyond. What is the point of suffering more than a few weeks?
2. There is life after death and your loved one will feel such a frustration because you are so selfish that you don't care.

In both cases, it is normal feel sadness for a while, but after that, it should be frowned upon.